My life feels like a bad daytime TV show. Right now I have issues with my fuckbuddy's babymama. Seriously. Bitch called up my phone using a tone on my voicemail. "Uhm. Like. This is Danny's BABY MAMA, and you need to get him to call me." But the way she said it made me so mad because she doesn't know me, not a bit, and I think it's rude as all hell to use certain tones with people you don't even know.

I've been trying hard to not let other people's drama get into my life, I have, but aparently I have skill with my own dramacentral.

( Survey Time )

Current Mood: Awake
Current Music: Michael Buble - Moondance

Man, Life. That's about all I have to say. I have work tonight.

I guess a lot of it really adds to how stressed out I've been lately. It sort of sucks. I have this problem where I happen to care too much too quickly for someone. It sucks. I really wish I didn't have a thing for the person that I do, because their life is all fucked up anyways. Their girlfriend is pregnant, they have to pay a ticket that they don't have money for, the list honestly goes on. I know I'm probably going to be the one forwarding him the money for the ticket, but at the same time I wish I wouldn't let myself do half the shit that I do because I'm just going to be walked on in the end. I wish I wasn't such a doormat. But I guess that's all I can be.

Lately I feel pretty unattractive, which bugs me. I don't mean to say normally I'm the hottest thing in the room, but usually I feel okay about the amount of sex appeal that I might have, but I really am not feeling it lately. I just feel like I look washed out and plain. It starts to make me feel down in other ways too, which bugs me more because I shouldn't let myself beat up on myself. But I guess that's okay.

I need a break. I feel like taking a trip and not telling anyone where I'm going. Maybe on one of my weekends.

On a different note, I guess I'm getting nitro put into my car. It wasn't really my choice, but it works.

Apparently I'm supposed to meet up with a dude named Jose. Not that I mind it too much, but the idea of Steven hooking me up with someone makes me sigh. It'll be pretty good though.

I ripped my favorite pants today. I'm battling with my self about my feelings over a number of things. I want something strongly, but it's probably just the idea of something. I need to take a shower, I need to dye my hair into a subnormal color, because work doesn't like me with purple hair, even if I look hot. I need to shave my legs. I need to get my nerves together.
Trying to become myself again feels a lot like reading a book backwards, but it's a book without plot.

I met an angel with devils claws, she told me to hold out until the applause. When the curtain rose again,I looked upon some long lost friends.

I chased a dragon through the lines, thought that his fire was a guiding light. Found out that I was incorrect, got burned again. Guess all that's left is to stay his friend.

Derek and I are going out now. I might have mentioned him, my awesome next door neighbor. He makes me happy. It's funny, he gets concerned that I might stop caring for him just because of his psychological and medical issues. I've never been that shallow, mainly because I can keep pace with anyone who points out their issues.
I go into work friday at 11pm, and then again on saturday. I'm so ready for this paycheck. You've got no idea.

Today I'm running to JC Penney to pick Derek up some socks. I've seen homeless people with better socks then this boy has. I'm also getting some body wash because I ran out.
Eventually I need to run to the womens clinic and get more birth controll.

I need to write a bio for myself and post my info to the penpal community.

I'm amused that for once my sleep schedule is what most people would call fucked up, but it's for a reason for once. A reason that doesn't include vidjagaemz.

Current Mood: Modu modu

I broke up with Anthony, not because I don't love him, but because I really suck at long distance relationships. It sorta really sucks. If I had the money I'd probably have already left for pensylvania to talk to him and hold him and tell him everything on my mind.
Today I finally got my new car all plated and got the title transfered. Wee.